Just because this is how I remember things doesn’t mean it is how others will remember things. It doesn’t mean one of us is right or wrong. We just recall the situation different. Psychology can explain this…

There’s this thing in the study of memory called confabulation. Whenever we remember something we have a tendency to only recall several specific details that are crucial to us. Those details may be different than the details which are crucial to someone else. We take those details and build a story around them – which not only helps us to recall those details but gives us a story to tell others. By repeating that story over and over we embed the information in our memory. But what happens when we run into someone who was at the same event or situation and their story is completely different? Are we wrong? Are they? No, not necessarily. We just confabulated the situation differently.

So, what do we do when that happens? Well, most people will argue with the other person. It’s that “Nuh uh, it happened the way I remember it” situation we often find ourselves in. I’ve never found this to be successful. Especially with my spouse. I usually just smile and say “Okay.” Simply understanding that there can be more than one retelling of the same moment in time – even if those retellings are wildly different – is enough for me. In my head I can believe my own story, combine the two, accept my spouse’s variations, or discard both. Externally, it’s usually easiest to keep the peace.

The point here and now though is just this. If you are one of the people I’m telling a story about and you remember it differently… I’M SORRY. I remember it differently than you do. You very well are correct in your memory. I AM LIKELY TO BE WRONG. It’s okay. I’m used to being wrong when I tell stories. Keep your memories the way you like them and just understand that I am a fallible human being. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.